in search of the Parenting answers!!!!!!!

If a policeman could only yell insults at you and shake his fist at you in protest of you speeding, how effective would the policeman be? Disciplinary action influences behavior; anger does not.

Dr. James Dobson says, "Ultimately, the key to competent parenthood is in being able to get behind the eyes of your child, seeing what he sees and feeling what he feels. When he is lonely, he needs your company. When he is defiant, he needs your help in controlling his impulses. When he is afraid, he needs the security of your embrace. When he is curious, he needs your patient instruction. When he is happy, he needs to share his laughter and joy with those he loves. Thus, the parent who intuitively comprehends his child's feelings is in a position to respond appropriately and meet the needs that are apparent. And at this point, raising healthy children becomes a highly developed art, requiring the greatest wisdom, patience, devotion and love that God has given to us."


READING THE NEXT PART THIS MAKES ME FEEL A LITTLE BETTER

On the upside of things, strong-willed children generally become highly motivated, successful adults if they have been taught the skills and self-control needed to contain themselves. They usually have high-self esteem, high energy, and extreme intelligence. If they have the skills to contain their own greatness they can let it shine when and where appropriate. Keeping this in mind, try not to brow beat your children into submission. Instead, lovingly show them how to control emotions and how to properly assert themselves.

Wow

Well this is me at a loss of things to try! To try and teach Weston to obey! It seems the things I tell him not to do he does on purpose. I explain why we don't do it and he agrees he won't but then when I am not looking he does exactly what I tell him not to. I've gone over and over again that in the morning he is to stay in his room and eat his dried cereal and watch Bob until his light goes out. at that time he can let his brother out of his room and they can play. That is the time I wake up. Well a few days he obeyed . But now he is back to making a mess in the house and taking food out of the fridge and pantry and leaving it half eaten all over the house. I used freak out and get upset and then I realized that ,that didn't do anything . So then I tried talking and asking him nicely not to do those things. And that didn't work.
So now I am to the point that I just send him to his room . During quiet time today I told him not to touch or bug the baby sleeping in the swing. I was in my room and came out to him pulling the swing across the living room floor. Music on the swing cranked and the baby's blanket stripped fr the baby. So I sent him to his room because I can't handle him he frustrates me. So I have to listen to him yelling " mommy can I come out " over and over again.
So a few min ago I walked by his room to go do something and glanced into his room and it was destroyed. Bed moved around , sheets stripped off. Books off the shelf , clothes everywhere.
WHAT THE HECK!!!!!! I officially don't know how to handle my son!
When he knows I am upset he says sorry mommy ! But I know he's not really sorry he is just saying that so he doesn't get punished.
Suggestions????????????

blogging has become a frustration

Wow iam so frustrated right now......... i have been trying for a few weeks to post on here. I either cant find the time or i start uploading pictures and they take forever or it just wont work. So today i decided i would upload all the pictures so i can clear off my camera.
so i had 14 pictures uploading and it was going at a good spead and was actuqally looking like it was going to work today. So while its uploading i decide to make breakfast . so now we are eating so i went to grab the laptop to write while i ate and i look and one of the kids did something , pushed buttons, or whatever and all the uploading pictures have disappeared.
I give UP............. Of course i got upset with the kids when it is clearly my fault for leaving it where the kids can touch it.
I need to shake my irritation. Ive been listening the a Creflo pod cast called be thankful not irritated. so i guess I need to check myself and be thankful for the little fingers that sabatoged my blog, thankful for my laptop, thankful that i have things to blog about, thankful that just my pictures disappeared and that they didnt break the laptop.ok i feel a little calmer. i think this works. I will drink  my coffee and continue to think of things to be thankful full.
I guess its a perspective thing! good idea! thanks God, you would almost think you knew more about us than we do! Good one.Gotta love that we have full access to the best advice around! If only we used it more often!
Most of all Iam thankful for a God that loves me so much, even when I do annoying stupid things !
sort of a side note. But i think it is so important as parents that we let our children know that we love them even when they are bad, dont listen ,break things , irritate us etc. To also teach them that God loves us even when we are bad, dont listen, break things, irritate him. Why ? because He is  the definition of  UNCONDITIONAL LOVE! Something we all need to learn and functiuon in !

Love never gives up.
   Love cares more for others than for self.
   Love doesn't want what it doesn't have.
   Love doesn't strut,
   Doesn't have a swelled head,
   Doesn't force itself on others,
   Isn't always "me first,"
   Doesn't fly off the handle,
   Doesn't keep score of the sins of others,
   Doesn't revel when others grovel,
   Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
   Puts up with anything,
   Trusts God always,
   Always looks for the best,
   Never looks back,
   But keeps going to the end

Thats all........

I feel better!